I am typing this from home in my living room. I am in a medical bed. I need assistance to do everything and when I do move it is with a walker. I have a nurse and PT coming out to my house and my family has been amazing. I also have so much support from my friends. I can’t accept much company and help yet, as I am still dealing with significant pain.
Here’s the thing… This was NOT a sign from God or the Universe. I was on a bike ride less than a mile from home. This could have happened to anyone. And frankly, an inch or two different and I may have been killed or paralyzed. So, frankly shit happens. Do not tell me that this is a message from a divine being. Bad stuff happens every day. I got some on Wednesday. It is what it is. And frankly, it is insane to think that God or the Universe is going to punish or stop me from living a lifestyle and being able to coach others while they achieve their dreams. I work hard to live my dreams and I am not crazy or insane for this. I am blessed. I am fortunate.
I am working so hard during every moment of the day. I will get better and I will be better, faster, and stronger. I thought I knew physical pain! HA! Insert idiotic laugh HERE. I have an understanding of what trauma victims endure that I could have never grasped before. I will NOT allow myself any negative talk. This is hard. I want to say that I can’t do this, or I’m too tired. NO. Maybe I will cry. Maybe I will break down. That’s ok. I breakdown and then I go ahead and do whatever it is what I have to do. I will stand up, I will walk a few feet, or I will eat even though I am overcome with nausea.
Here’s the story… Last Wednesday was pretty much an all out awesome day to start. It didn’t end on such a high note.
For 2 weeks every summer I do ZenduranceNow Training Camp. While my girls are at day camp for 2 weeks, I put work and most of life aside to train all day with the assistance of my coach, Lisa Smith Batchen. I did this for the first time last year and LOVED it. I was 3 days into Camp when I crashed my bike.
I use Camp as a ramp up of sorts. I was just back to training after an epic experience at the Infinitus 72 hour Trail Race. I won 1st place female and 3rd overall. It was GREAT! It just took me a few weeks to bounce back from.
Getting to live, eat, sleep, and breathe training is a dream come true for me. It is pure joy. It is also extremely hard work. But, it is safe to say that I am in the best shape of my life and I was very up to the task.
On Wednesday, I dropped my daughter off at day camp and went to the Reservoir and did a 5-mile tire drag. After I planned an easy recovery bike ride on the flattest course I have around my house, and then I was heading over to CrossFit Unlimited Potential for my strength training.
My bike ride was relatively uneventful at first; I was actually riding very easy. When I was less than a mile from my house they were paving the road where I was riding. The road gradient was very bumpy so I went to get off of this section of road but when I was doing this I hit a bump in the road and lost control of my front wheel. I went over my handlebars and slid on my right side, and banged the hell out of my head. And, of course I was wearing a helmet!
I knew it was bad. However, survival instincts kicked in and despite my broken hip I low crawled with my forearms and right leg to the side of the road so I wouldn’t get hit by a car. A few people stopped, thank God. And one very nice girl, whom I later found out, is the stepdaughter of a friend/client of mine. I couldn’t move from my hands and knees and I waited until the ambulance came.
When the ambulance came, they called my husband and cut my gloves off so they could get an IV in my hand. They also gave me pain meds through my nose. Getting on the ambulance was excruciatingly painful. I screamed and cried. It was awful. But the pain only got worse as I got to the hospital. My clothes were cut off and more examinations and moving of my body is awful ways. I was given huge amounts of painkillers. In real life, I wouldn’t even take a Tylenol, so this was VERY foreign to me. There were 10-12 people around me, working very hard. There was a nurse holding my hand. I was scared and in pain and I had no idea where I was or why all of this was happening. Thank God for nurses.
I was in the Hartford Hospital Emergency Department for about 12 more hours of tests, painkillers, and confusion. I had blood work, tests on my heart and lungs, an MRI, multiple CAT Scans, and multiple sets of x-rays. I am grateful for the social worker that sat with me. She was also a triathlete and training for Timberman and when she talked about her training and racing it pulled me out of my pain. Eventually, Bill arrived as he had driven from Stamford. He was also able to hold space for me and help me preserve a little bit of dignity when it seemed that the pain and trauma took it all.
I was finally admitted onto an ortho floor and really the pain continued. Every movement hurt. Getting my pain medications working appropriately was top priority. Fortunately my breaks did NOT require surgery. I was here for 3 days until I went home. I started physical therapy. And I was told that people with my injuries don’t move and get out of bed. I was able to walk partway down a hall with a walker and demonstrate that I could walk 2 stairs so they could discharge me.
This is the story so far. I will reach out for more help when I need it. Right now, I am functioning at about 12-24 hours at a time. And I know I am taken care of until tomorrow. I appreciate your prayers, well wishes, good energy, and strong mojo.
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